Bernie Ecclestone, Flavio Briatore, Imola, 2005

Caption Competition 92: Renault comeback edition

Caption Competition

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Renault is returning to Formula One so for the first Caption Competition of 2016 the archive has been raided for a picture from their last time in F1.

Here former team boss Flavio Briatore explains one of the most indispensable parts of an F1 car to Bernie Ecclestone.

Can you come up with the best caption for this picture? Post your funniest suggestion in the comments below.

A selection of the best will feature in a future edition of the F1 Fanatic Round-up.

Need some inspiration? Check out all the winners from last year’s Caption Competitions:

Caption Competition

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Keith Collantine
Lifelong motor sport fan Keith set up RaceFans in 2005 - when it was originally called F1 Fanatic. Having previously worked as a motoring...

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  • 94 comments on “Caption Competition 92: Renault comeback edition”

    1. See, that is where I would place the sprinkler button.

    2. Philip C Dunham
      9th January 2016, 12:06

      “When this indicator light turns on, the driver is no longer in control of the car, I am. *wink*”

    3. Show me again, where is the blue turtle button to solve my Mercedes problem ?

      1. Blue Turtle <.<

    4. “And here’s where we hide the motors on Piquets car giving us direct control of the steering from the pits.”

    5. That’s good, but you’re going to need four wheels and an engine, er, power unit too.

    6. Bernie explains his latest idea to teams – a built in credit card reader.

      1. brilliant.

    7. “Back in my day, we just had two buttons for racing games.”

      1. good one :)

    8. “Are you saying that when you push that button the car self-destructs?”

    9. Flavio: That is how you activate Option 13

      1. I was thinking of a very similar one :)

    10. “This is the one Nelson used in Singapore to put it in the wall”

    11. “Which button lets me slide into some girl’s DMs?”

    12. Flávio: ‘And this button allows our drivers to neutralise the race at any time.’
      Bernie: ‘What, your drivers can bring out the safety car any time they like? That’s pretty good for safety’
      Flávio: ‘If that’s the way you want to look at it… Great!’

    13. Bernie: l’option de treize?

    14. Bernie – “So that one brings out the safety car?”
      Flavio-Flav – “No no no, this is the traction control”

      (I don’t have high opinions of at least one of these people).

    15. “And this is the bribe button, its quicker than Blatter’s envelope method”

    16. “So this button is for sending tweets to Hamilton”

    17. Can I push one Flavio, can I?

      No…I push this team’s buttons.

    18. Little did Flavio know at the time, the push-to-crash button would become the push-to-oust button.

    19. BE- Yes yes Flav, all very clever, but will it be loud?

      1. ColdFly F1 (@)
        10th January 2016, 2:46

        good one (you beat me to it)

    20. BE – You know, you should really put a “Crash Now” light right there…you know just in case.

      1. And so this is the button to veer the car into the wall….

    21. Bernie says: “what does the big re button do?”
      Flavio: “nothing, that’s just on Nelsons steering wheel”.

    22. Bernie, you push this button right here and the money pours in!!!

    23. This button here gives me an automatic injection of ViAGRA.

    24. “And that’s the spin button. I’m telling you Bernie, the fans love the donuts, especially mid-race!”

    25. If my calculations are correct, when the car hits 88 miles an hour…
      You input your destination time on this keypad. Want to see F1 in 2015?

    26. “So what is that crash light indicator for?”

    27. “So where’s this Jenson Button you were telling me about?”
      “Oh, we got rid of it. It didn’t give us the performance step we’d expected.”

    28. Briatore:This is the “crashgate” button. It causes one of your drivers to crash so that the other one can win.

    29. Flavio is proudly showing off his crash-on-demand system when Bernie points out it would be cheaper to sign Maldonado.

    30. Bernie:you will come back or you shall feel the full power of the dark side of the force…

    31. …And this button calls supermodels up to your hotel suite.

    32. flavio is a Cheat . Why is he being Celebrated?

      1. It’s a caption competition where he will be (and is being) mocked; I say bring on the fun!

    33. And with this one, we can control the hidden camera in Max’s hotel room.

    34. “If you copyright that, we can charge fans 50p every time they look at it.”

    35. Bernie: That’s a good bit of kit I could sell that
      Flav: This is a one off, I’ll get you another

    36. james (@acrazydentist)
      9th January 2016, 19:01

      Bernie – “This button is the new push to pass, it delivers an extra 75 bhp for 5 seconds and drivers can choose to use it whenever they want thus eliminating the need for DRS. Oh I almost forgot, there is no limit for the amount of uses in a race, just a small cash settlement, $20000 for each use.”

    37. ‘You see Bernie, there were just too many buttons so one of them had to go’

    38. Bernie: “Pushing that button delays Jaguar, Jordan and Sauber’s FOM payments. They won’t find out while I’m still in charge, so let Alonso do it”

    39. Which do you think is better: more buttons less or less buttons more?

    40. Bernie: Have you shared this software information with RedBull?

    41. “So this was Alonso’s dead man switch for when he dozed off again during driving, you know, the one which wasn’t working with McLaren during pre-season testing.”

    42. But Flavio, why would I want to change direction?


      Flavio, surely you don’t want to put so much control in the hands of one person?


      Yes Bernie, that light instructs the driver to crash the car… It’s one of our strategic innovations.

    43. Bernie: Soooo…….you did carry over some technology from your Benetton years.

    44. So it has a mirror and I can see if my rug’s blowing off ?

      10th January 2016, 1:06

      So Briatore, this is the button to press if you like to crash intentionally the car?

    46. Show me how you activate the secret traction control.

    47. ..and this ones for the flamethrower

    48. Flavio: I “got” it from the Mercedes box. It is worth millions!
      Bernie: What is my cut?

    49. Pat Ruadh (@fullcoursecaution)
      10th January 2016, 2:16

      Bernie: “and what does that ‘SC’ button do?”

    50. the next thing to go in the budget cap

    51. ColdFly F1 (@)
      10th January 2016, 3:10

      If I allow these steering wheels in F1 will people forget about my admiration of Hitler, comparing women to appliances, bribery and tax cheating?

    52. Up-Up-Down-Down-Left-Right-Left-Right-B-A… That gives us an extra 10 engine tokens, right?

      1. Good one, had the same idea but you beat me

    53. Briatore: …all this is made of carbon-fibre. It’s state of the…
      Eclestone: Yea, yea, yea… Everything that your engine isn’t.

    54. No Flav don’t turn it so hard! It’s hooked up to the entire steering committee!

    55. “Let’s make a standard steering wheel and then sell it to small teams.”

    56. Flavio, “Bernie, if you can press the right buttons, Azerbaijan will pay you millions to host the race!”

    57. Ecclestone: “But why does it have the Mercedes logo?”

    58. “This one makes the engine louder”

    59. Flavio: This is our best upgrade yet, HDTV!

    60. FB: “… and option 14 launches the taxation control system.”

    61. Bernie: where is that button that makes Lewis Hamilton go to first place.

    62. Bernie talking to him self: when will he finish talking?! I’ll just think about money.
      Bernie’s money song: ” money, money, money I love to sing about money ladi lad didly di du”. And so on.

    63. Briatore: “Look at this Bernie, it’s like driving the Millennium Falcon!”

    64. so … if something went wrong , you push that button and you disappear your self from the f1 for 5 years and if you push it again you come back!

    65. Flavio: “…and if you enter this promo code you get 25% off Renault engines for the next 12 months.”

    66. FB: “This button is directly linked to my laywers. When it is pressed they automatically start the damage control in the press and find ways to clear my name. I have it installed in all the technology around me. You can see it is quite worn from heavy use, as i rely on the whole team to help me out.”

      BE: “remarkable. In my days, we just gave a bag of money to the right person”

      FB: “Oh Bernie, today we are all about hearts and minds, besides, when did you ever buy your way out of trouble?”

    67. You’re going to love this harvesting and deployment button on our cars in future Bernie. I’ve heard they make you feel ‘electric’ on the Merc’s too ;-) They give you this nice MGUK show apparently; or it might have been magic?! Whatever mind, you’ll be psyched!

    68. Wow she’s nice! She lives nearby too! Swipe right, Flavio!

    69. ..and there’s Netflix for the long straights.

    70. “How can I get the more MONEY, Flavio??”
      “THIS is the BUTTON, My Friend!!!”

    71. ColdFly F1 (@)
      10th January 2016, 20:09

      F1 will attract more women if it would look like a domestic appliance!

    72. So Flavio when the driver hits that button they automatically give you 15% of their salary, Brilliant

    73. This is the request team mate to crash button.

    74. Were developing this new wheel that stores photos.. Here’s one of me in a thong…

    75. Bernie: Nelson knows to keep it on full lock you say?
      Flav: Yes, that’s what I told him.
      Bernie: Jeeze Flav, if you get caught, I’m just gonna say I wasn’t wearing my glasses so couldn’t see what you were pointing at. If it weren’t for the fact you’re sitting on my hand, I’d walk away now!

    76. Bernie: Where is the rest of the car?

      Flavio: It dropped off The Cliff.

      Bernie: No need for the steering wheel after that then…

    77. This button brings out the dancing girls along with the sprinkler system ready for the wet tshirt competition.

    78. That’s the problem with todays drivers Flav, in the Dakar they only use pliers

    79. FB: This button activates the blindfold
      BE: Can I have one for my wife?

    80. F.B. -“And this thing right here jostles your sphincter”
      B.E. – “Can we put one of those in my limo?”

    81. And this is the button to send Tweets…

    82. “This one’s simple, it’s the avoid Maldonado button!”

    83. No, it’s not a video phone, it gives the TORQUE readings

    84. “You see once the Merc is ahead by more than 30 seconds the steering locks in this position.”

    Comments are closed.